Love Yourself First

“Love your neighbor as yourself,” (Mark 12:30-31 NIV) is a well-known scripture. It usually is in common with “love your enemies,” and is followed by forgiveness. Most times, when this scripture is bandied about, it’s focus is on the other person… the neighbor. But when I think of this scripture, I think about “yourself.” This is especially true in the context of counseling and speaking with my clients. You see, the scripture does not say “Love your neighbor MORE than you love yourself.” Yet, that is what is often implied, or how we act or believe.

How many times do we burn ourselves out helping someone else, or not learning to say “no?” There are times when we need to learn to say No. This is especially true when saying YES is harmful to us or has negative impacts on our own lives.

Many of us grow up not understanding that we are allowed to say No. When that aunt comes in to give us a hug, and we flinch, and our mother says, “Oh stop, let your aunt hug you…” it is implied that we are not allowed to have boundaries to our own bodies and that others can disrespect our own wants and needs.

It is so easy for all of us to admire and respect others: celebrities, friends, teachers, pastors… our neighbor, but not love and respect ourself. So I tell you, those that believe, the next time you hear the scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” do you love yourself? Are you following that commandment? Because you deserve that respect, that love, that admiration, as much or more than your neighbor. And honestly, if we don’t know how to love ourselves, how can we love anyone else, in a healthy and positive way?  I’m reminded of the oxygen mask on an airplane, “place your own mask on your face before turning to your neighbor.”

The world is a hard place. We are beaten down, yelled at, disrespected, and more all the time. It is our responsibility to be our number one cheerleader. Be the example you want in the world… and love yourself first.