Balance

In this time, we are all living under trauma. The trauma of COVID-19, the nation is divided and under protests, and now here in Oregon, we have the wildfires that have displaced hundreds and killed loved ones. When will it end?

Most of us are feeling various levels of depression and anxiety. We are questioning the “whys” and “hows” and ruminate over and over again.

I don’t have the answers, but these are some of my thoughts.

First of all, it is healthy to acknowledge all of these feelings. Feelings and emotions are never good or bad, right or wrong. Feelings and emotions JUST ARE. Recognize the feeling, “Yeah, I’m feeling pretty blue right now,” and validate that it’s okay to feel that way. Don’t push it away, invalidate it, or ignore it. Because those feelings come out in other maladaptive ways. Denial does not work.

But the bigger question is, what do we do after we validate and recognize our despair?

That’s where BALANCE comes in.

It has been proven that gratitude is healthy and can help improve our lives. Even in the deepest despair, there is something to be grateful for: The firefighters, the First Responders, family, and those that serve others in times of need. When in a crisis, us human beings have a way of coming out, showing up, and helping one another.

I’m reminded of a Mr. Roger’s quote I recently heard. “When in a crisis, look to the helpers.”

It’s unrealistic and unhealthy to deny the pain and always “Don’t worry, be happy.” But it’s just as unrealistic and very unhealthy to stay stuck in the swamp of despair with both feet.

Life is about ups and downs. Everyone has them. Welcome to being human, as a professor of mine used to say. But the healthier you are, the more resilient you are, and the more balanced you will feel.

Look to the helpers. Reach out when you need to. And lend a hand when you can.