Clicks

This morning I woke up reflecting on how life’s twists and turns can lead you to where you are supposed to be. The journey can and will be painful at times. As the saying goes, “It takes fire to make gold.”

I’m reminded of a decorative plate I saw once hanging on a wall in a restaurant. It said, “God hears your plans, and laughs.” I had many plans as a youth, and none of them have turned out!

For most of my career, I was a restaurant manager. In my last restaurant job, I was the general manager of the restaurant I helped open when I was the kitchen manager. It felt like it had been a long time coming. I always wanted to be “top dog,” you know? The GM. But once I got the position, it was not what I expected. I felt like an imposter. Which was weird, because I was more than ready for it. But things were happening in my life. I had finally started therapy, and I was realizing I was not happy. In many ways, I had never been happy. And things went wrong. Our computer system was changed and the credit cards were constantly going down. We changed owners and people were disgruntled. And it was during our last recession, so people were not eating out as much. Things were not going well.

That was the first “click.”

With therapy, I realized I didn’t have to be stuck. I could find a new job, one that I was happier with if I really wanted it. And I realized, I did want it. All these years waiting to be a GM, but I wasn’t happy.

After a few months, I did find a new job. I became a practice manager of a veterinary clinic. Animals! Way better than steaks! After the second year, our clinic was the hospital of the year, and I was practice manager of the year. I was happier. It was there where I met Dr. H. She decided to open her own clinic, and she wanted me to go with her. This was the second “click.”

We opened a clinic together. It was at this time my own healing journey was well on its way. I became a member of a play called “Telling.” This play consisted of several survivors of childhood sexual abuse. We told our stories and gave hope to others that you can find healing. One day, we were in the van driving home from one of our shows, and we were all talking about our counseling experiences. Suddenly, I felt like I was hit by lightning. Some would say, me included, I had a Calling. I knew at that moment that I needed to go back to school and become a counselor. This was what I was meant to be! It wouldn’t be easy, I knew that.  But I also knew in my gut I needed to do it.  And you know, if I hadn’t left the restaurant, went to the first clinic, and met Dr. H, which led me to the last clinic giving me time and flexibility to do the play, I never would have been in that van. That was the final “Click!”

And here I am. It wasn’t easy. There were many tears and conflicts and difficult times along the way. This was never my plan. But it’s what I am meant to do and where I am supposed to be.

Listen to your gut. You can endure the tough trail. There will be hills, but there will also be valleys. You will shed tears, but those tears will wash the pain clean. The twists and turns and canyons and walls which you have to find your way around will all be worth it in the end.