Brains on Trauma

Many times with clients, I compare a wound to the therapy process. Some people get a wound on their arm, and with little or no attention, it heals itself. Some people get a wound on their arm, and it gets some bacteria in there or a sliver. It needs to be re-opened and cleaned out before it can heal. Still, others suffer from many many wounds, all depths, and various infections that are very complex.

Many people with complex trauma learn to disassociate or “numb out” in their day to day life so they can function. But something comes along and triggers them, causing that immense distress. That is why people are so ignorant when they say, “Why can’t you get over it?” Because that “sliver” is there in the brain until it is removed. With therapy, you have to arouse the memory, “poke the bear” – go through the tunnel, and come out the other side. You clean out the wound. And then you can heal.

Brene Brown has a saying, “The story I tell myself.” This is a phrase we often use when we are troubled by something. It is not necessarily rational, or true, or even in the arena. But because of our past traumas or conditioning, it is how our brain is wired to explain whatever we are upset about.  It’s rarely the actual truth, but it’s our perception based on how our brain was mapped in trauma.  But your brain can be ‘re-wired.’  It takes practice and hard work. There is no magic wand or special words a counselor can wield.  I wish that was the case, but alas, it’s not!  But trust me, as a woman that also experienced trauma in her past, you can overcome.  You can heal.  You can reach the other side.